Flawed But Real

Being a new working girl, I've had no idea how to keep up with my LJ. That being said, I'm still alive, still kickin', and doing surprisingly well.

So let's go through some highlights of the past several months:

• Saw both Kelly Clarkson and David Cook live (both absolutely killed it)


• My workplace is a welcoming, if not busy environment


• I made the Board of Directors of the Westside Regional Center, which is a big service organization (even though the politics terrify me)


• I've been invited for several speaking engagements to talk about autism (which I am honored by)


• I started a year-long leadership program at USC for professionals working with the developmentally disabled


• I interviewed a NY Times best-selling author here

Sorry I don't have much more to write, but my brain's been fried. Being an adult is hard.

Well, this has been a hell of a year.

I had boy drama, trying but rewarding classes, a major car accident that's shaken me to the core about driving, a great opportunity and blessing of an internship, and becoming more open about myself and my own issues. It's been tough yet in many instances rewarding and a learning experience.

So here's what I learned this year:

1. I am unable to put up with relationship drama when it begins rearing its ugly head. No matter how I feel about anyone I date, I can assert myself when I feel something's wrong and do what's best for me.


2. I'm able to fall in love. And love is a tougher emotion than expected.


3. I cannot afford to not pay careful attention when driving or risk losing my license. I love the independence driving affords me too much to lose it.


4. I can create and build something of my own through hard work and connections.


5. I can finally be open about things that I've been hiding all of my life and it'll be both rewarding and empowering. And moreover, people will accept me for my honesty and not judge me for it.


6. I really am capable of a lot, I just have to begin believing it.

On that note, I began a blog about a very big part of my life. It's called Jumping Out of The Fishbowl, and I encourage everyone here to follow it and subscribe via email. (I also have a Tumblr you can follow as well.) It's part of my journey of being open and I appreciate any support I can get.

I'm now at the point where one of my social work classes is talking about budgeting.

Dear God, what did I get myself into?

After a looooooong year of my initial concentration year internship not working out, trying to find a replacement, having the ideal placement fall through on me, and continued searching, I finally have a placement at one of my volunteer gigs for next year!









And I'm thismuchcloser to getting done!

It's funny how a year can surprise you. There's often no such thing as a straight narrative - there are so many ups and downs that make it hard to tell where it's all leading to. But maybe, just maybe 2013 has proved to me that life can get a little better but I have to take more action to get it to where I want it to be.

( My 2013 retrospective )

But if there's anything I've gotten out of 2013, it's the realization that I do have the power to make my life good and what I want it to be. I know I can be incredibly down on myself because I'm not where I want to be, but that's because I have ridiculously high standards for myself. I have figured out that all things considered I'm doing pretty well, and my last and perhaps greatest challenge is to break from a lifelong cycle of beating myself up for what I'm not and don't have and recognize and appreciate who I am and what I do have so I can become a happier person.

Let's hope that 2014 brings good things for us all.

So I've been out of school for a month and I kinda feel directionless. It's nice to get a break from having to read and think and breathe therapy concepts and complex social issues that make me want to break things, but now I'm left with nothing to do as time marches on for the next couple of months. I'm looking into possible internships or volunteer opportunities but I kinda feel a little helpless and bored and that's not a good combination.

At the very least I'm actually doing fairly well at school thus far. I'm not entirely sure why I'm shocked at my A in my Domestic Violence class and B+ in my Practice with Families, Groups, and Task Groups. Realistically, I've gotten all As in every DV paper I wrote prior to my final and one B+ and two As in the other class so I should have seen it coming. I guess I need to reevaluate how I think I do in writing and research to my actual output. I am relieved that it seems that my DV final in examining how Twilight and Fifty Shades of Grey portrays domestic abuse and its subsequent romanticization was well received (oh, the masochism I apparently have concerning these two properties) was indeed well received and the other final didn't seem to hurt my grade too much.

So far the highlight of the past month or so has been an act of kindness from my mom that I'm not sure I'll ever repay her for - going to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter at Universal Studios Orlando. I'm not entirely sure what possessed her to do this for me but it is incredible that I have a mom who actually had interest in seeing the park (despite her and pretty much everyone else in my family not quite sharing my nerdy obsessions) and wanting to make me happy. The actual park itself was really well done and it was quite amusing to see the stores selling all the tchotchkes that make up the Harry Potter world. And I even got my mother to go on a rollercoaster that went upside down (which is what the Dragon Races coaster does), so that was immensely amusing.

( Souvenirs be under the cut! )

Needless to say, when they complete construction of the Wizarding World of Harry Potter at LA's Universal Studios, I'll be so there.

The other thing that's been staving off the monotony so far has been movies. I've managed to see "Iron Man 3", "Star Trek Into WhiteDarkness", and "The Kings of Summer" and have enjoyed them all in varying degrees. "Iron Man 3" is a pretty good start to Marvel's Phase Two (especially considering that I'm waaaaay more pumped for "Thor: The Dark World" than anything else in Phase Two because, come on, Thor and Loki y'all) and I appreciate that they allowed Tony Stark to really grow and mature post-Avengers. I also like what they did with the Mandarian (yes, I know it deviated a lot from the comics but the Mandarian as a comic book villain was also really racist so I consider the twist they did progress of sorts) and the best scene was clearly either the ending with the Science Bros impromptu therapy session or Adam Pally's cameo as Gary the Cable Guy.






It's such a shame "Happy Endings" was cancelled, because Adam Pally needs to be in all the comedies. And if you haven't seen "Happy Endings", watch it. You won't regret it.

As for "Star Trek Into Darkness"...*sigh* It was enjoyable enough but it kinda lacked the magic that the 2009 film had for me. Namely, I exited the 2009 movie pumped to see more and with this it is was all..."eh, perhaps I see more of alternate universe Trek or maybe not." And to be honest, I think a lot of it had to do with Benedict Cumberbatch as Khan. I'm not a Trekkie by any stretch of the word, but I know enough to know that Khan was a character of color and while the whole casting-any-brown-person-as-a-brown-character is incredibly iffy it was still a big deal to have the Latino Ricardo Montalbán as an esteemed adversary to Kirk and crew. Throwing in Khan into this new movieverse with a clearly distinct "alternate timeline" personally feels like a cheap nod to the original show. (Although yes, promoting the adversary of STID as a "terrorist" would've not been good if JJ Abrams had cast a brown guy in that role. Baaaaah this is why I tend to stay out of race conversations on the internet.) Plus, given that Khan was cryogenically frozen with 72 other people, why couldn't "John Harrison" have the same exact backgroud as Khan and co.? Still would've worked even if the apparent Eugenics Wars were hundreds of years before the alternate timeline became a thing, and let's all face it, the 1990s did not actually produce that. I can't criticize Benedict Cumberbatch for his performance though - he was most definitely an effective villain with his imposing voice and total commitment (even if I had to suffer his face in IMAX 3D, god help me). And I love everyone else on the Enterprise
even though Zachary Quinto's "KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNN!!!!1!1" scream was hilariously pathetic. It was a fun summer movie but I can't say I'm looking forward to more alternate timeline!Star Trek.

I can recommend "The Kings of Summer" much more highly. This I kinda saw by accident because I went with a friend to a $8 double feature at a tiny theater in West Hollywood that was screening this after a showing of "Stand by Me". I really enjoyed both coming of age stories much more than I anticipated, and "The Kings of Summer" has the additional benefits of possessing utter charm to the t and having Ron and Tammy Swanson, Annie from "Community" and Rico from "Hannah Montana" (who turns out is a very capable comedian as an adult outside of Disney's clutches). "The Kings of Summer" is in limited release right now but do go see it if you can. It's seriously one of the best movies I have seen in years.

After what feels like fucking forever, I have finally found a new place for me to live! With open living rooms and lots of closets and things! I no longer have to freak out about being possibly homeless on March 1!






And now back to your feed.

It is the night before I leave for Israel. I'm currently at my grandmother's apartment in her retirement community just outside Princeton, NJ, and we got a bit of snow today. It shouldn't be enough to cause huge problems getting me to the airport but the temperature's supposed to drop to the tens tonight, so we'll see.

The last two days have been relatively peaceful and quiet. I'm getting to know my grandmother a bit and it's a good thing we enjoy each other's company. She's shown me a couple of books where my mom's family history have been complied, and I've been reading some of the stories and letters my ancestors wrote. My mom's side is traced back to around the 1600s (and long-time American colonists) so it's been fascinating to read about these particularly colorful characters. My great grandfather's letters from his student days traveling Asia in the 1920s are particularly cool.

The more I think about the excursion I'm taking, the more excited I am about it. Yes, there are some little things that keep bugging me (I may not have actually brought the right converter plugs, why do I need 4+ hours prior to flying internationally, how am I gonna stop to change my cash, etc.) but considering this is the first time I've done a big international trip by myself since my senior semester abroad four years ago, I'm proud of myself for taking this on. International traveling is no easy task and I'm happy to challenge myself to master it.

So I shall not be on LJ (or for the most part on the internets) for the next twelve or so days. I will post my overall experiences when I return, and I shall see you all in the new year.

(A real update is gonna come soon, I swear.)

Tom Hooper, you better not fuck this up. Seriously.

...but if watching this is any indication, I'm sure I'll still be a sobbing little bitch while watching the film, though.